And so, this summer Matt and I started talking about scaling back. Thought it might be worth a try to put our home on the market and downsize, stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. We know the market is not ideal, but the Tyler Durden quote from Fight Club has repeatedly come to mind as we’re repairing something else around the house, reorganizing another cabinet or painting another wall instead of enjoying people in our lives.

“The things you own end up owning you.”

We love our house, our pool, the yard and even the neighborhood, but the truth is these are things and while they might bring us pleasure, they also bring us grief. A mortgage that we’ll forever be “growing into,” a yard that needs edging and substantial treatment for weeds and 2800+ square feet under the roof to maintain. As our children get older, we are realizing that if we’re going to lead the active lifestyle we’d like with them, something is going to have to give. Laundry alone is a full time job and we both work more than full time.

Of course when we purchased the house I was working at Bolton and the drive was perfect. A quick 15 minutes up the road and I was there. There was an elementary school right in the next neighborhood over that was a feeder for my high school. Everything lined right up.

We added the pool and had the bonus room built after a couple of years, Evan was born a week or so after the pool was completed (April 2006) and a little over a month later I was making calls to transfer to another high school because of downsizing. I was fortunate to get a position at the new high school just a little further away and not the one that would have meant a 45 minute drive to and from on a good day. Besides, I was going to do something completely new and I could lay the foundation for a new program and end up spending more evenings with my boys since I wouldn’t be working a theatre director’s hours. There was a little mourning involved, sure. I had spent six years being groomed to step up when my mentor retired, but as with any change, it gave me a decision to make. I chose the positive. I love my new school, the students, my new colleagues and friends and am so grateful for the opportunity I was given. I know it was for the best and my time with Debbie was preparing me for this new experience.

We enrolled Lucas in sporting activities in the new community so his transition to the elementary school might be more seamless and now that he is in kindergarten, Matt drives 45 minutes out of his way every morning so Lucas can attend the elementary school that feeds to my high school. It’s important for us that the kids have that stability of being in the same schools, so we do it and we don’t complain. But we knew pretty quickly that it’s not going to work forever. Initially we thought we’d put in about 8 years of it and then we really thought about that. Why? So we can get our money’s worth out of the pool. Really?

What if we happened to find just the right buyer? Could happen. Knock on wood, we’ve been fortunate with selling houses in the past. Besides, if we don’t, we don’t have to give it away; we can stay here a bit longer. We keep returning to, “it’s worth a shot.” Matt called a couple realtors a month or so ago. Seems that homes with pools sell best starting in the Spring.

As if we didn’t have enough reasons (some of which I have failed to mention here), we were given another last week. Nothing like the fragility of life to give you a wake up call. Perhaps the seed of change was planted for a purpose. Sure makes it a little easier to uproot when you realize how quickly it could all vanish anyway.

This summer during one of our few lovely Ladies Only swims (Thursdays) my art teacher friends were talking to me about a new benefit of our insurance. It’s a place called Lifesigns and they do a comprehensive physical for the cost of a copayment. I mentioned it to Matt since we had both been looked at like we had two heads when we had asked our general practitioner about a physical a few years ago. He didn’t understand why we wanted one. We thought it would be a good idea since we probably haven’t had one since we were TWELVE. Matt asked me to make him an appointment. He just turned forty; perfect timing. I did and he went.

Matt is going to be fine, but we have just learned that he was born with a heart condition called a bicuspid aortic valve. He’ll need a heart valve replacement. With this condition, instead of having three leaflets to keep blood from flowing back into the heart, he just has two and there’s quite a bit of leaking. After the initial EKG (echocardiogram that’s like an ultrasound) the doctor performed a TEE (transesophageal echocardiogram where a tiny camera gets put in) today to explore the extent of the damage and confirm his initial prognosis. We don’t know when he’ll need surgery; right now we are just watching and waiting. We’ve heard between one and five years and also inside of ten years, but the truth is, we just don’t know.

How about that for preventative medicine?!

Anyone wanna buy a really great house?