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And so, this summer Matt and I started talking about scaling back. Thought it might be worth a try to put our home on the market and downsize, stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. We know the market is not ideal, but the Tyler Durden quote from Fight Club has repeatedly come to mind as we’re repairing something else around the house, reorganizing another cabinet or painting another wall instead of enjoying people in our lives.
“The things you own end up owning you.”
We love our house, our pool, the yard and even the neighborhood, but the truth is these are things and while they might bring us pleasure, they also bring us grief. A mortgage that we’ll forever be “growing into,” a yard that needs edging and substantial treatment for weeds and 2800+ square feet under the roof to maintain. As our children get older, we are realizing that if we’re going to lead the active lifestyle we’d like with them, something is going to have to give. Laundry alone is a full time job and we both work more than full time.
Of course when we purchased the house I was working at Bolton and the drive was perfect. A quick 15 minutes up the road and I was there. There was an elementary school right in the next neighborhood over that was a feeder for my high school. Everything lined right up.
We added the pool and had the bonus room built after a couple of years, Evan was born a week or so after the pool was completed (April 2006) and a little over a month later I was making calls to transfer to another high school because of downsizing. I was fortunate to get a position at the new high school just a little further away and not the one that would have meant a 45 minute drive to and from on a good day. Besides, I was going to do something completely new and I could lay the foundation for a new program and end up spending more evenings with my boys since I wouldn’t be working a theatre director’s hours. There was a little mourning involved, sure. I had spent six years being groomed to step up when my mentor retired, but as with any change, it gave me a decision to make. I chose the positive. I love my new school, the students, my new colleagues and friends and am so grateful for the opportunity I was given. I know it was for the best and my time with Debbie was preparing me for this new experience.
We enrolled Lucas in sporting activities in the new community so his transition to the elementary school might be more seamless and now that he is in kindergarten, Matt drives 45 minutes out of his way every morning so Lucas can attend the elementary school that feeds to my high school. It’s important for us that the kids have that stability of being in the same schools, so we do it and we don’t complain. But we knew pretty quickly that it’s not going to work forever. Initially we thought we’d put in about 8 years of it and then we really thought about that. Why? So we can get our money’s worth out of the pool. Really?
What if we happened to find just the right buyer? Could happen. Knock on wood, we’ve been fortunate with selling houses in the past. Besides, if we don’t, we don’t have to give it away; we can stay here a bit longer. We keep returning to, “it’s worth a shot.” Matt called a couple realtors a month or so ago. Seems that homes with pools sell best starting in the Spring.
As if we didn’t have enough reasons (some of which I have failed to mention here), we were given another last week. Nothing like the fragility of life to give you a wake up call. Perhaps the seed of change was planted for a purpose. Sure makes it a little easier to uproot when you realize how quickly it could all vanish anyway.
This summer during one of our few lovely Ladies Only swims (Thursdays) my art teacher friends were talking to me about a new benefit of our insurance. It’s a place called Lifesigns and they do a comprehensive physical for the cost of a copayment. I mentioned it to Matt since we had both been looked at like we had two heads when we had asked our general practitioner about a physical a few years ago. He didn’t understand why we wanted one. We thought it would be a good idea since we probably haven’t had one since we were TWELVE. Matt asked me to make him an appointment. He just turned forty; perfect timing. I did and he went.
Matt is going to be fine, but we have just learned that he was born with a heart condition called a bicuspid aortic valve. He’ll need a heart valve replacement. With this condition, instead of having three leaflets to keep blood from flowing back into the heart, he just has two and there’s quite a bit of leaking. After the initial EKG (echocardiogram that’s like an ultrasound) the doctor performed a TEE (transesophageal echocardiogram where a tiny camera gets put in) today to explore the extent of the damage and confirm his initial prognosis. We don’t know when he’ll need surgery; right now we are just watching and waiting. We’ve heard between one and five years and also inside of ten years, but the truth is, we just don’t know.
How about that for preventative medicine?!
Anyone wanna buy a really great house?
For three years we have gone to Priddy Farms, the local pumpkin patch down the road and enjoyed the traditional fall festivities that this entails: the tire swing that every farm has, the fall foliage, the picking of pumpkins, train rides, hay rides and requisite photos of carefully coordinated family members. At the suggestion of a friend, we decided to try Cedar Hill Farm, a larger patch quite a bit further away (like 45 minutes). We were not disappointed. We would spend the entire day there next time for the admission price, but that doesn’t mean we were not pleased.
Evan was not, I repeat, not ready to stop playing with the trucks and move on to the other activities.
The boys could have played on this hill on day. Love the shot of Evan where he is completely airborne! Good catch, Matt! So curious what that might have looked like in sports mode!
Lucas looks so old here.
They had a corn box and there is no telling how deep it was. The boys made corn angels and I sank to my ankles when I got in. Later in the evening at the Harvest Festival at Depot Square Lucas was picking kernels out of his shoes.
We probably shouldn’t have given them chocolate and other suckers if we planned on getting pictures we could frame. Noted.
There was a corn maze. We ventured in even though when we did the one at the Agricenter last year we were in there for an hour and a half. Trivia is not our strong suit. I even tried to look up answers on my iPhone (pathetic, right). This one was simple and though we failed to get the answers correct, we still made it out in under 20 minutes.
Look! All the rain has washed up a pirate ship!
Matt posted a couple of these pictures on his facebook and Auntie Molly said “they should do catalog work.” I thought that was cute, but seriously, many of these look just like that!
The afternoon of our anniversary outing led us to a car show that was being held just a few miles from the house. We thought it was a British car show, but I keep asking Matt if it was European since I see several German models. I know absolutely nothing about cars and will not claim to for the purposes of this entry. I took some pictures of the ones I thought were the prettiest or the most interesting and here they are:
Lucas happened to notice that the engine and trunk are all mixed up on this one. 
Yes, that’s an appendage hanging out of that trunk. Gotta love a good sense of humor.
Matt happened to know the guy who won one of the awards for the show. It was funny because when we first got there, Matt and Lucas made a beeline for the restrooms and Evan and I started looking around. What ensued was a one sided dialogue that went something like this, “Don’t touch it.” “Evan, come here.” “Keep your hands to yourself.” A gentleman made a joke about this, got me laughing (that’s a huge feat in itself) and started talking with Evan and I. Turns out, this is the guy Matt told us had a car in the show. Here’s Woody with his award winning Sunbeam.
Sweet ride, eh?
What better way to celebrate the day we wed than with the family that came out of that union? We took a trip downtown to The Farmer’s Market and enjoyed a ride on the trolley to check out how the city’s shaping up these days. We caught the trolley across from the infamous Earnestine and Hazel’s.
Though Beale Street Landing is fraught with controversy, it promises to be a great addition to the downtown area. What major city doesn’t need a beautiful riverfront?
For lunch we opted to go to Huey’s, which coincidentally, was where I ate the night I went out with my aunt and happened to meet my future husband.
We drove by The Junior League house on Central Avenue, where our reception was held. I took pictures out the window.
Then, since we were in the neighborhood we drove by the first home we owned. We had a more subtle color for the trim when we inhabited it, just for the record. We loved this little hybrid ranch/bungalow with it’s fifties style kitchen (complete with white metal cabinets) and the gorgeous hardwoods throughout.
Happened by The Dixon Galleries, where we had one of our initial three dates. We’ve not been back; perhaps we should return soon.
By this time we were way south of our afternoon plans and so we circled by our third (purchased) home together. The second one is in Columbus, Ohio, so it was well off the beaten trail. While we liked the house, the actual living space was small and the commute for me was rough, so we moved just after Lucas was born. We loved this wooded lot, but not the task of staining the house every couple of years. Doesn’t look like the new owner enjoys it much either.
It was so fun to see the Jessamine on the front of the house that we planted and also the Hummingbird vine from Grandma Sue’s yard still around the mail box.
Our afternoon was full of fun too, but you’ll have to wait for another post to see what we did. There are too many pictures to group it all together.
It’s eleven years, if you’re counting.
We have a connection to this church since this is where Mama Jane attends and we always hit up their outdoor events in the fall. We got a little respite from the rain (though not enough to have the event at it’s regular location at their sports complex) so we went for it.
We bumped into The Young’s and hung out with them for most of the evening. Things have been busy for all of us (especially them) and they boys have really missed one another. Evan was off with Matt doing a moon bounce and Jake was waiting in line to climb a rock wall.
He must have stood there while waiting in line for a solid full minute with his hands like this. Too funny.
Evan’s first pony ride.
Lucas has been on ponies before, and even got to ride a horse, thanks to our dear friend, Leanne. He’s an old pro. 
Dinner time…winding down from all the excitement. LIstening to some Coffey Anderson and my former student, Robby.
Thank goodness, Mike spotted us. We were starting to worry we wouldn’t run into any Nason’s or Mama Jane! She snuck up behind Lucas and when he turned around to greet her he just couldn’t set his drink down fast enough to “hug her neck.”
In the event you haven’t heard of Coffey Anderson, here are a few links and videos to pique your interest: soul, pop, Christian…you name it. He’s having a good time and he’s talented for sure!
Fairs + children = good times.
We had to almost FORCE Lucas to ride this one and check out that expression.
The Amazing Armando was quite entertaining. Matt and I kinda looked at each other like, “Is this the day we scar our children forever by having them witness this man plummet to his death?”
It might be difficult to tell here, but that woman is inside this globe with two speeding motorcycles circling her like Saturn’s rings.
We watched jousting for a few minutes. This horse was easily the largest I’ve ever seen. I wish I had gotten the name of the breed.
No blood…what do you think is really going on here with this metal rod? It sure looked like he put it into his arm right in front of us.
I suppose the pictures speak for themselves. These poor kids never have any fun.
In my never-ending quest to get “caught up,” I stumbled upon this poem that our neighbor, John, shared with me when I first gave birth to Lucas in 2003. Coincidentally, I just made a trip to the old ‘hood to drop off a La Leche League publication lent to me by another neighbor. Sometimes I wonder what and where we might be had we stayed there. We definitely gave up some GREAT neighbors when we moved.
The Blessed Mess by John A. Hammer
A friend once came to visit and to stay a week or two,
“I came to have some fun, hunt and fish, just me and you.”
He hadn’t been here long when he looked around the place,
and although with kinder words, he said, “Man, your house is a disgrace.”
There were cobwebs in the corner and some laundry on the floor,
the kitchen looked clean to me, but he found prints around the door.
And when he moved my couch, on his face was disbelief,
for a treasure-trove of little toys lay dusty underneath.
Close friends we are, and often say what others only think,
so I took in stride his words, like dirty dishes in the sink.
He said, “When I get married, my wife will keep things clean.”
I simply shrugged and said, “My friend, whatever do you mean?”
He pointed out some tasks, no doubt, we’d overlooked,
mostly unimportant, bumped when schedules over-booked.
He said, “Two baby boys and working, I can see how things might slip,
but were she my wife, this wouldn’t do, I’d run a tighter ship.”
He might claim to understand, but in truth he had no clue.
Not that the many tasks were not in need for her to do,
but I was just as guilty of leaving messes lay.
So thoughtfully he listened to what I had to say.
I started with the vacuum, and there it sits you see.
The carpet seemed so unimportant when he fell and scraped his knee.
I could have picked him up and sent him on his way,
but hurts heal much the better when forgotten as we play.
The laundry on the floor, was left when time ran out,
for between nap and bedtime, we take them all about.
The cobwebs in the corner, spoke of fun-filled times.
like reading Bible stories and singing nursery rhymes.
The floor that needed mopping, and the toys beneath the couch,
were left for joyous moments, not so that we could slouch.
On and on I went, explaining undone tasks.
Each was left for time to them, as often as they asked.
For soon they’ll be much older, and their time will be their own,
and we’ll be left hoping for the times when they come home.
Then no doubt my house will be spotless and dust free,
but I’d turn it all to messes for one, “Daddy, play with me.”
Evan as I write this my boy comes lunging to my lap.
His diaper’s probably dirty and it’s past time for his nap.
So I’ll lay aside these words which in truth will never dent,
the telling of priceless joy, when time with children can be spent.
We don’t get to visit many places since our family is spread all over the U.S., but we try to make the most of it. Over Labor Day weekend we made the trek to Benton, LA to see my parents and got to see my brother for a quick minute when he stopped by for a night before heading back to Texas to set up his deer camp.
Usually so cautious, Lucas has a serious need for speed.
My handsome Daddy checking out a moment between his grandson and son.
On Sunday we made a trip with all six of us to Gator & Friends to check out all the gators and feed the animals (there are so few petting zoos anymore). Over the summer it had just been Lucas and his grandparents so we were glad to get an opportunity to take Evan there. We loved the place. The food portions are generous, the animals are fun and it’s mostly shaded.
After Matt got over the “gross” factor of feeding this camel, he seemed to quite enjoy it.
I imagine that this guy’s the one that scared the troll guarding the bridge in The Billy Goat’s Gruff. I loved that story as a kid (pardon the pun, it really was an accident!) and I just did a quick search for it since it popped up in my brain and I found a great website that has audio stories for kids. Check it out here.
We had to sneak this little kid food as the older goats got a little pushy.
The sign that said “Feed from cup” was definitely misplaced here. My mother learned the hard way.
I didn’t do much feeding because I didn’t want to get animal slobber on the camera, but I couldn’t resist this little wallaby. I think she liked me too. Check out how she held my hand. 
BAMBI!
Oh how I want a zoom lens! I use a Nikkor 18-135 because I know that in my day to day life with two young boys that I can’t be changing lenses often and I knew that this lens would be more versatile and I wouldn’t risk damaging my camera changing out lenses. I know I made the right decision (instead of getting two lenses, one of which would have had a 200 mm), but I still dream about greater zoom.
The medium sized gators are fed four times a day. The guy with the bucket of food stands in his position, props the bucket on the fence and bangs on it intermittently for about five minutes, until nearly all the gators move near. The bucket isn’t dumped all at once, but split into thirds. Bet it’s a little creepy when your feet are right there!
Lucas did not hesitate to get in line to hold a baby gator again, but Evan was none too interested. They continue to surprise us with how they refuse to be categorized.
After all the kids got a chance to hold the little fella, I decided I wanted to try too. It felt cool, almost like soft plastic. It was quite neat. I’m glad I did it. My Mom jumped up there after I did it. My Dad opted out. He’s had his share of alligator handling with Ryan and his alligator hunting adventures. After we washed our hands, we had a nice lunch out. Simple, good fun.
In the end, Evan decided he could at least pet the gator. Grandpa got him a pressed penny before we left since Lucas had already had the “Gift Shop” experience.
We made it over to Shelby Forest Saturday for our first camping excursion of the season. This time we elected to go alone, which we have never done before. The boys are old enough to entertain one another and it was so nice to just be a foursome in the woods and completely “unplug” for 24 hours. I needed the rest.
Our humble campsite.
Look how delightfully filthy Evan got!
We had to cut out on Sunday morning quite a bit sooner than we intended. The natives drove us out (mosquitoes & chiggers) so we were unable to go for a nature hike. Because of this, this delicate little wildflower was the only splash of natural color besides green or brown we saw.
We’re all looking forward to going again as soon as possible. It is one activity that we all equally enjoy.
I mentioned before how excited we are about the changes we’re seeing at our city’s major park. Well, just as I predicted to Matt about a month ago, the Conservancy has big plans as is evidenced by this announcement:
Great news since this is quickly becoming our destination of choice as the boys get more active. I cannot wait to ride the trails with them someday. It’ll be a different park by then and by the time they are ready for that, I’ll be a beast on my bicycle; ready for anything they could throw my way! For now though, we walk and I get to take some photos and practice shooting on the fly. It’s so easy for me to be still while we’re here. Not so much for the boys (including Matt).
