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Lucas and Logan have each been reminding their mommies of how much they miss one another and so finally, we managed to get them together for a couple of hours. I let Evan play late at school and the older boys entertained themselves in the house for awhile before heading out to play with the battery operated cars. In the last two shots, they’re playing “Civil War.”
And so, this summer Matt and I started talking about scaling back. Thought it might be worth a try to put our home on the market and downsize, stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. We know the market is not ideal, but the Tyler Durden quote from Fight Club has repeatedly come to mind as we’re repairing something else around the house, reorganizing another cabinet or painting another wall instead of enjoying people in our lives.
“The things you own end up owning you.”
We love our house, our pool, the yard and even the neighborhood, but the truth is these are things and while they might bring us pleasure, they also bring us grief. A mortgage that we’ll forever be “growing into,” a yard that needs edging and substantial treatment for weeds and 2800+ square feet under the roof to maintain. As our children get older, we are realizing that if we’re going to lead the active lifestyle we’d like with them, something is going to have to give. Laundry alone is a full time job and we both work more than full time.
Of course when we purchased the house I was working at Bolton and the drive was perfect. A quick 15 minutes up the road and I was there. There was an elementary school right in the next neighborhood over that was a feeder for my high school. Everything lined right up.
We added the pool and had the bonus room built after a couple of years, Evan was born a week or so after the pool was completed (April 2006) and a little over a month later I was making calls to transfer to another high school because of downsizing. I was fortunate to get a position at the new high school just a little further away and not the one that would have meant a 45 minute drive to and from on a good day. Besides, I was going to do something completely new and I could lay the foundation for a new program and end up spending more evenings with my boys since I wouldn’t be working a theatre director’s hours. There was a little mourning involved, sure. I had spent six years being groomed to step up when my mentor retired, but as with any change, it gave me a decision to make. I chose the positive. I love my new school, the students, my new colleagues and friends and am so grateful for the opportunity I was given. I know it was for the best and my time with Debbie was preparing me for this new experience.
We enrolled Lucas in sporting activities in the new community so his transition to the elementary school might be more seamless and now that he is in kindergarten, Matt drives 45 minutes out of his way every morning so Lucas can attend the elementary school that feeds to my high school. It’s important for us that the kids have that stability of being in the same schools, so we do it and we don’t complain. But we knew pretty quickly that it’s not going to work forever. Initially we thought we’d put in about 8 years of it and then we really thought about that. Why? So we can get our money’s worth out of the pool. Really?
What if we happened to find just the right buyer? Could happen. Knock on wood, we’ve been fortunate with selling houses in the past. Besides, if we don’t, we don’t have to give it away; we can stay here a bit longer. We keep returning to, “it’s worth a shot.” Matt called a couple realtors a month or so ago. Seems that homes with pools sell best starting in the Spring.
As if we didn’t have enough reasons (some of which I have failed to mention here), we were given another last week. Nothing like the fragility of life to give you a wake up call. Perhaps the seed of change was planted for a purpose. Sure makes it a little easier to uproot when you realize how quickly it could all vanish anyway.
This summer during one of our few lovely Ladies Only swims (Thursdays) my art teacher friends were talking to me about a new benefit of our insurance. It’s a place called Lifesigns and they do a comprehensive physical for the cost of a copayment. I mentioned it to Matt since we had both been looked at like we had two heads when we had asked our general practitioner about a physical a few years ago. He didn’t understand why we wanted one. We thought it would be a good idea since we probably haven’t had one since we were TWELVE. Matt asked me to make him an appointment. He just turned forty; perfect timing. I did and he went.
Matt is going to be fine, but we have just learned that he was born with a heart condition called a bicuspid aortic valve. He’ll need a heart valve replacement. With this condition, instead of having three leaflets to keep blood from flowing back into the heart, he just has two and there’s quite a bit of leaking. After the initial EKG (echocardiogram that’s like an ultrasound) the doctor performed a TEE (transesophageal echocardiogram where a tiny camera gets put in) today to explore the extent of the damage and confirm his initial prognosis. We don’t know when he’ll need surgery; right now we are just watching and waiting. We’ve heard between one and five years and also inside of ten years, but the truth is, we just don’t know.
How about that for preventative medicine?!
Anyone wanna buy a really great house?
What better way to celebrate the day we wed than with the family that came out of that union? We took a trip downtown to The Farmer’s Market and enjoyed a ride on the trolley to check out how the city’s shaping up these days. We caught the trolley across from the infamous Earnestine and Hazel’s.
Though Beale Street Landing is fraught with controversy, it promises to be a great addition to the downtown area. What major city doesn’t need a beautiful riverfront?
For lunch we opted to go to Huey’s, which coincidentally, was where I ate the night I went out with my aunt and happened to meet my future husband.
We drove by The Junior League house on Central Avenue, where our reception was held. I took pictures out the window.
Then, since we were in the neighborhood we drove by the first home we owned. We had a more subtle color for the trim when we inhabited it, just for the record. We loved this little hybrid ranch/bungalow with it’s fifties style kitchen (complete with white metal cabinets) and the gorgeous hardwoods throughout.
Happened by The Dixon Galleries, where we had one of our initial three dates. We’ve not been back; perhaps we should return soon.
By this time we were way south of our afternoon plans and so we circled by our third (purchased) home together. The second one is in Columbus, Ohio, so it was well off the beaten trail. While we liked the house, the actual living space was small and the commute for me was rough, so we moved just after Lucas was born. We loved this wooded lot, but not the task of staining the house every couple of years. Doesn’t look like the new owner enjoys it much either.
It was so fun to see the Jessamine on the front of the house that we planted and also the Hummingbird vine from Grandma Sue’s yard still around the mail box.
Our afternoon was full of fun too, but you’ll have to wait for another post to see what we did. There are too many pictures to group it all together.
It’s eleven years, if you’re counting.
We have a connection to this church since this is where Mama Jane attends and we always hit up their outdoor events in the fall. We got a little respite from the rain (though not enough to have the event at it’s regular location at their sports complex) so we went for it.
We bumped into The Young’s and hung out with them for most of the evening. Things have been busy for all of us (especially them) and they boys have really missed one another. Evan was off with Matt doing a moon bounce and Jake was waiting in line to climb a rock wall.
He must have stood there while waiting in line for a solid full minute with his hands like this. Too funny.
Evan’s first pony ride.
Lucas has been on ponies before, and even got to ride a horse, thanks to our dear friend, Leanne. He’s an old pro. 
Dinner time…winding down from all the excitement. LIstening to some Coffey Anderson and my former student, Robby.
Thank goodness, Mike spotted us. We were starting to worry we wouldn’t run into any Nason’s or Mama Jane! She snuck up behind Lucas and when he turned around to greet her he just couldn’t set his drink down fast enough to “hug her neck.”
In the event you haven’t heard of Coffey Anderson, here are a few links and videos to pique your interest: soul, pop, Christian…you name it. He’s having a good time and he’s talented for sure!
In my never-ending quest to get “caught up,” I stumbled upon this poem that our neighbor, John, shared with me when I first gave birth to Lucas in 2003. Coincidentally, I just made a trip to the old ‘hood to drop off a La Leche League publication lent to me by another neighbor. Sometimes I wonder what and where we might be had we stayed there. We definitely gave up some GREAT neighbors when we moved.
The Blessed Mess by John A. Hammer
A friend once came to visit and to stay a week or two,
“I came to have some fun, hunt and fish, just me and you.”
He hadn’t been here long when he looked around the place,
and although with kinder words, he said, “Man, your house is a disgrace.”
There were cobwebs in the corner and some laundry on the floor,
the kitchen looked clean to me, but he found prints around the door.
And when he moved my couch, on his face was disbelief,
for a treasure-trove of little toys lay dusty underneath.
Close friends we are, and often say what others only think,
so I took in stride his words, like dirty dishes in the sink.
He said, “When I get married, my wife will keep things clean.”
I simply shrugged and said, “My friend, whatever do you mean?”
He pointed out some tasks, no doubt, we’d overlooked,
mostly unimportant, bumped when schedules over-booked.
He said, “Two baby boys and working, I can see how things might slip,
but were she my wife, this wouldn’t do, I’d run a tighter ship.”
He might claim to understand, but in truth he had no clue.
Not that the many tasks were not in need for her to do,
but I was just as guilty of leaving messes lay.
So thoughtfully he listened to what I had to say.
I started with the vacuum, and there it sits you see.
The carpet seemed so unimportant when he fell and scraped his knee.
I could have picked him up and sent him on his way,
but hurts heal much the better when forgotten as we play.
The laundry on the floor, was left when time ran out,
for between nap and bedtime, we take them all about.
The cobwebs in the corner, spoke of fun-filled times.
like reading Bible stories and singing nursery rhymes.
The floor that needed mopping, and the toys beneath the couch,
were left for joyous moments, not so that we could slouch.
On and on I went, explaining undone tasks.
Each was left for time to them, as often as they asked.
For soon they’ll be much older, and their time will be their own,
and we’ll be left hoping for the times when they come home.
Then no doubt my house will be spotless and dust free,
but I’d turn it all to messes for one, “Daddy, play with me.”
Evan as I write this my boy comes lunging to my lap.
His diaper’s probably dirty and it’s past time for his nap.
So I’ll lay aside these words which in truth will never dent,
the telling of priceless joy, when time with children can be spent.
Mom , Dad and Grandma Sue came over for a Day Trip from Henderson Saturday afternoon. The weather was perfect and we were able to sit comfortably outside. San Diego weather, if you will.
At the start of the swim, Evan copied Lucas’s move of jumping off the deck into the pool backwards and failed to jump OUT. He caught his chin in exactly the correct position to prevent an ER visit., but it was a scary ten minutes that could have clouded the entire day even without an emergency hospital visit. Mom persuaded Dad to take a swim and the boys had a blast.
Grandma is doing well. Her eye surgery went well and she looks like herself again. She didn’t have a lot to talk about, but it’s been a rough couple of months. Her sister, GeorgiaAnne has late stage lung cancer, and Onnie is having huge problems.GeorgiaAnne’s husband has Alzheimer’s. Just overnight this all happened. They were fine and then poof.
We grabbed a pizza and got some disposable camera pictures developed. Yes, my Mom has a Canon Rebel and when Lucas was there for 5 days, she never could remember to bring it along. We got updates about Lucas through Razr camera emails. This camera had shot of him holding an alligator at the Alligator Park they visited together. Evan’s not quite ready so we’ve had to wait to go.
We learned just this weekend that Lucas shot a BB gun during that trip. Looks like he can keep a secret or something; this was mid-July. Good for him. My Dad is THE MAN. He’s always so slow and steady that I am put at ease that he’s covering all the details. I love that I don’t have an actual picture of this. Isn’t that funny? I can imagine what it must have been like. Maybe Lucas can just remember on his own instead of relying on a scrapbook.
I sure hope so, since I am not doing a very good job of keeping up these days. Just kidding. It will all work out as it’s meant to. I am quite enjoying the limited freedom I’ve had to settle back into spin class and enjoy riding my bike through the neighborhoods nearby.
Oh, almost forgot. Look what it appears that Lucas now has to go back there for:
Yes, to the left of my Dad’s left foot (on his new? favorite loveseat!) is the box for a Lego system that I have never before seen. Good thing we’ll be visiting over Labor Day weekend! Have to make up for missing July 4th this year. This will be a great time! Can’t wait.
DO. NOT. CUT. CORNERS. WHEN. BACKING. UP. YOUR. PHOTOS.
I was getting happy while trying to free of some gigs on my nearly four year old Mac and I let a tech savvy spirit inhabit my body and mind. I now only have 32 -64 KB images of every. single. picture. i. have. taken. since.i. got. my. new. camera. in. december.
I know, I know…there are many tragic things that happen in life and in the grand scheme of things…IT’S NO BIG DEAL.
But, I am still experiencing a bit of a mourning process and it’s taking me a little time to assess the situation and salvage what I can of our year in pictures so updating is clearly going to take a bit longer than usual. Couple this with a reorganization of my office space and the impending school year (year 10 for me, year 1 for Lucas! Big!) and there are sure to be delays.
To answer the obvious questions:
1. No. I had not yet burned to CD/DVD.
2. No. I had not uploaded to my photo processing/online back up site.
3. No. I had not properly copied them to my external drive.
4. Yes. The being that took over my body still knew how to empty the trash on the desktop.
5. No. Copies of the files are not somewhere else on the hard drive.
6. No. I do not use Blogger so I do not have a back up on Picasssa.
7. Yes. I resize all my blog photos in Photoshop before uploading them to WordPress.
8. Yes, I have splurped my blog to Booksmart and I can print a coffee table book with thumbnail sized photos from Shoot. Post. Repeat Daily. I imagine the same results with Notes for Tomorrow. I welcome other suggestions.
Lesson learned.
Once more, with feeling:
DO. NOT. CUT. CORNERS. WHEN. BACKING. UP. YOUR. PHOTOS.
Summer is so fun because in many ways we are rediscovering our city. The Children’s Museum has had many facelifts since we’ve had a chance to check back and really, Evan is just exploring for the first time anyway! Good thing Lucas had his last day of basketball camp and we could check it out by ourselves. Many things were actually new to me this time around; for instance they had moved the Kroger grocery store to where the outdated body exhibit had been. Good call!
Evan is already ready to return! So fun to have time with him when he doesn’t have to hear “no.”
These are three adults that I spend a considerable amount of “proximity time” with. I made that word up just now. These ladies and myself make up 4 of 7 teachers on our hall. Which, I might add, is the very first ever Fine Arts wing or hall I’ve ever been privy to. I have the restroom in the studio and so the ladies come and go throughout the day and we chat while waiting in line or on the way back to class. Of course, the interchanges are always brief, but often funny or otherwise important. I took this at an art show they all participated in this year. I thought it was a nice Portrait of the Artists.
I finally got an opportunity to visit Grandma since she’s been home. We were all supposed to go, but ironically, Lucas came down with strep throat the day prior. He was broken-hearted he couldn’t come and I missed he and Matt being there, of course, but Evan got to be the center of attention and he needs that so much. We had a ball with the bubble machine, making hamburgers with Grandpa and of course wrestling too.
Grandma’s got a lot of healing left to do (and maybe some plastic surgery), but she has all her limbs and she’s still with us. I heard enough stories about this nasty virus that we were really concerned. Below I am posting a current picture, followed by a shot of her from my phone before ICU and one from after. Scroll no further if graphic details upset you (or your children are on your lap). I think she’s healing remarkably well.
And she hardly complained. I mean, just look at her affect here. She’s just dealing with it as it comes. I want to be more like her.
