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And so, this summer Matt and I started talking about scaling back. Thought it might be worth a try to put our home on the market and downsize, stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. We know the market is not ideal, but the Tyler Durden quote from Fight Club has repeatedly come to mind as we’re repairing something else around the house, reorganizing another cabinet or painting another wall instead of enjoying people in our lives.
“The things you own end up owning you.”
We love our house, our pool, the yard and even the neighborhood, but the truth is these are things and while they might bring us pleasure, they also bring us grief. A mortgage that we’ll forever be “growing into,” a yard that needs edging and substantial treatment for weeds and 2800+ square feet under the roof to maintain. As our children get older, we are realizing that if we’re going to lead the active lifestyle we’d like with them, something is going to have to give. Laundry alone is a full time job and we both work more than full time.
Of course when we purchased the house I was working at Bolton and the drive was perfect. A quick 15 minutes up the road and I was there. There was an elementary school right in the next neighborhood over that was a feeder for my high school. Everything lined right up.
We added the pool and had the bonus room built after a couple of years, Evan was born a week or so after the pool was completed (April 2006) and a little over a month later I was making calls to transfer to another high school because of downsizing. I was fortunate to get a position at the new high school just a little further away and not the one that would have meant a 45 minute drive to and from on a good day. Besides, I was going to do something completely new and I could lay the foundation for a new program and end up spending more evenings with my boys since I wouldn’t be working a theatre director’s hours. There was a little mourning involved, sure. I had spent six years being groomed to step up when my mentor retired, but as with any change, it gave me a decision to make. I chose the positive. I love my new school, the students, my new colleagues and friends and am so grateful for the opportunity I was given. I know it was for the best and my time with Debbie was preparing me for this new experience.
We enrolled Lucas in sporting activities in the new community so his transition to the elementary school might be more seamless and now that he is in kindergarten, Matt drives 45 minutes out of his way every morning so Lucas can attend the elementary school that feeds to my high school. It’s important for us that the kids have that stability of being in the same schools, so we do it and we don’t complain. But we knew pretty quickly that it’s not going to work forever. Initially we thought we’d put in about 8 years of it and then we really thought about that. Why? So we can get our money’s worth out of the pool. Really?
What if we happened to find just the right buyer? Could happen. Knock on wood, we’ve been fortunate with selling houses in the past. Besides, if we don’t, we don’t have to give it away; we can stay here a bit longer. We keep returning to, “it’s worth a shot.” Matt called a couple realtors a month or so ago. Seems that homes with pools sell best starting in the Spring.
As if we didn’t have enough reasons (some of which I have failed to mention here), we were given another last week. Nothing like the fragility of life to give you a wake up call. Perhaps the seed of change was planted for a purpose. Sure makes it a little easier to uproot when you realize how quickly it could all vanish anyway.
This summer during one of our few lovely Ladies Only swims (Thursdays) my art teacher friends were talking to me about a new benefit of our insurance. It’s a place called Lifesigns and they do a comprehensive physical for the cost of a copayment. I mentioned it to Matt since we had both been looked at like we had two heads when we had asked our general practitioner about a physical a few years ago. He didn’t understand why we wanted one. We thought it would be a good idea since we probably haven’t had one since we were TWELVE. Matt asked me to make him an appointment. He just turned forty; perfect timing. I did and he went.
Matt is going to be fine, but we have just learned that he was born with a heart condition called a bicuspid aortic valve. He’ll need a heart valve replacement. With this condition, instead of having three leaflets to keep blood from flowing back into the heart, he just has two and there’s quite a bit of leaking. After the initial EKG (echocardiogram that’s like an ultrasound) the doctor performed a TEE (transesophageal echocardiogram where a tiny camera gets put in) today to explore the extent of the damage and confirm his initial prognosis. We don’t know when he’ll need surgery; right now we are just watching and waiting. We’ve heard between one and five years and also inside of ten years, but the truth is, we just don’t know.
How about that for preventative medicine?!
Anyone wanna buy a really great house?
What better way to celebrate the day we wed than with the family that came out of that union? We took a trip downtown to The Farmer’s Market and enjoyed a ride on the trolley to check out how the city’s shaping up these days. We caught the trolley across from the infamous Earnestine and Hazel’s.
Though Beale Street Landing is fraught with controversy, it promises to be a great addition to the downtown area. What major city doesn’t need a beautiful riverfront?
For lunch we opted to go to Huey’s, which coincidentally, was where I ate the night I went out with my aunt and happened to meet my future husband.
We drove by The Junior League house on Central Avenue, where our reception was held. I took pictures out the window.
Then, since we were in the neighborhood we drove by the first home we owned. We had a more subtle color for the trim when we inhabited it, just for the record. We loved this little hybrid ranch/bungalow with it’s fifties style kitchen (complete with white metal cabinets) and the gorgeous hardwoods throughout.
Happened by The Dixon Galleries, where we had one of our initial three dates. We’ve not been back; perhaps we should return soon.
By this time we were way south of our afternoon plans and so we circled by our third (purchased) home together. The second one is in Columbus, Ohio, so it was well off the beaten trail. While we liked the house, the actual living space was small and the commute for me was rough, so we moved just after Lucas was born. We loved this wooded lot, but not the task of staining the house every couple of years. Doesn’t look like the new owner enjoys it much either.
It was so fun to see the Jessamine on the front of the house that we planted and also the Hummingbird vine from Grandma Sue’s yard still around the mail box.
Our afternoon was full of fun too, but you’ll have to wait for another post to see what we did. There are too many pictures to group it all together.
It’s eleven years, if you’re counting.
In my never-ending quest to get “caught up,” I stumbled upon this poem that our neighbor, John, shared with me when I first gave birth to Lucas in 2003. Coincidentally, I just made a trip to the old ‘hood to drop off a La Leche League publication lent to me by another neighbor. Sometimes I wonder what and where we might be had we stayed there. We definitely gave up some GREAT neighbors when we moved.
The Blessed Mess by John A. Hammer
A friend once came to visit and to stay a week or two,
“I came to have some fun, hunt and fish, just me and you.”
He hadn’t been here long when he looked around the place,
and although with kinder words, he said, “Man, your house is a disgrace.”
There were cobwebs in the corner and some laundry on the floor,
the kitchen looked clean to me, but he found prints around the door.
And when he moved my couch, on his face was disbelief,
for a treasure-trove of little toys lay dusty underneath.
Close friends we are, and often say what others only think,
so I took in stride his words, like dirty dishes in the sink.
He said, “When I get married, my wife will keep things clean.”
I simply shrugged and said, “My friend, whatever do you mean?”
He pointed out some tasks, no doubt, we’d overlooked,
mostly unimportant, bumped when schedules over-booked.
He said, “Two baby boys and working, I can see how things might slip,
but were she my wife, this wouldn’t do, I’d run a tighter ship.”
He might claim to understand, but in truth he had no clue.
Not that the many tasks were not in need for her to do,
but I was just as guilty of leaving messes lay.
So thoughtfully he listened to what I had to say.
I started with the vacuum, and there it sits you see.
The carpet seemed so unimportant when he fell and scraped his knee.
I could have picked him up and sent him on his way,
but hurts heal much the better when forgotten as we play.
The laundry on the floor, was left when time ran out,
for between nap and bedtime, we take them all about.
The cobwebs in the corner, spoke of fun-filled times.
like reading Bible stories and singing nursery rhymes.
The floor that needed mopping, and the toys beneath the couch,
were left for joyous moments, not so that we could slouch.
On and on I went, explaining undone tasks.
Each was left for time to them, as often as they asked.
For soon they’ll be much older, and their time will be their own,
and we’ll be left hoping for the times when they come home.
Then no doubt my house will be spotless and dust free,
but I’d turn it all to messes for one, “Daddy, play with me.”
Evan as I write this my boy comes lunging to my lap.
His diaper’s probably dirty and it’s past time for his nap.
So I’ll lay aside these words which in truth will never dent,
the telling of priceless joy, when time with children can be spent.
DO. NOT. CUT. CORNERS. WHEN. BACKING. UP. YOUR. PHOTOS.
I was getting happy while trying to free of some gigs on my nearly four year old Mac and I let a tech savvy spirit inhabit my body and mind. I now only have 32 -64 KB images of every. single. picture. i. have. taken. since.i. got. my. new. camera. in. december.
I know, I know…there are many tragic things that happen in life and in the grand scheme of things…IT’S NO BIG DEAL.
But, I am still experiencing a bit of a mourning process and it’s taking me a little time to assess the situation and salvage what I can of our year in pictures so updating is clearly going to take a bit longer than usual. Couple this with a reorganization of my office space and the impending school year (year 10 for me, year 1 for Lucas! Big!) and there are sure to be delays.
To answer the obvious questions:
1. No. I had not yet burned to CD/DVD.
2. No. I had not uploaded to my photo processing/online back up site.
3. No. I had not properly copied them to my external drive.
4. Yes. The being that took over my body still knew how to empty the trash on the desktop.
5. No. Copies of the files are not somewhere else on the hard drive.
6. No. I do not use Blogger so I do not have a back up on Picasssa.
7. Yes. I resize all my blog photos in Photoshop before uploading them to WordPress.
8. Yes, I have splurped my blog to Booksmart and I can print a coffee table book with thumbnail sized photos from Shoot. Post. Repeat Daily. I imagine the same results with Notes for Tomorrow. I welcome other suggestions.
Lesson learned.
Once more, with feeling:
DO. NOT. CUT. CORNERS. WHEN. BACKING. UP. YOUR. PHOTOS.
There’s a whole heaping lot of stuff going on around here and it’s a real challenge to remain sane much less update the blogs and visit those of my friends. I assure you, I will more than make up for lost during during the sweet summertime.
Just a recap:
Grandma is still in the hospital. Sunday will mark two weeks. There have been differing reports of how much longer her stay will be as well as what her immediate future care needs will be. To say that this has been a constant source of frustration for my mother would be a serious understatement. She’s exhausted beyond belief and stressed to the max. Grandma is getting grumpy about the whole deal and she is just so incredibly weak that any movement at all is a strain.
I’m staying late at work nearly every day. Meetings for this committee and that committee. Senior video in its first “final draft” is due on the 17th and we are scrambling. As the quality of our productions increases, so do the requests (and demands) for our services. I’ve got to get a handle on how to best organize it all, but the time for that, unfortunately, is not when we’re right in the thick of it. Senior Video will be shown and delivered to the senior class the day before we pack up all our gear for a remote shoot to tape graduation which we need to finalize and burn for all who purchase it within a week. The good news is that exams for my classes are projects and I finally moved the due date up. So, I’ll not be dealing with exams on top of all the other stuff. They were due April 3rd. I have very few turned in and after tomorrow, students will lose 10 points per day it is turned in late. I’ll add a cut off date to the mix tomorrow. I will not accept them after the 16th. At that point, the best they could score with a nearly perfect project is a 50% anyway. Ah, a problem solved. This is another reason why I write it out.
We had a whirlwind week organizing and taping the Mock Car Crash and now editing it. Tomorrow we tape the Talent Show and edit that. The thespians want the archive copies of their productions for their banquet, which are all on DV CAM tape, not mini DV, so we have to convert all that. We taped Student Government speeches, only someone messed with the settings and we didn’t get video. Reshot those today. And so on and so forth. We’re in talks with the Chamber for a service project as well as the middle school for an orientation video. I’m also trying to write a grant. So much learning happening I think my head might explode.
Of course you know that Lucas is participating in Spring soccer, so we do that three days a week, weather permitting. Sometimes I’m grateful when it rains. Anyone ever been there? I used to be disappointed that I spent that $80 and he missed a practice. Now I think it was a lot cheaper than therapy. He’s also graduating from pre-school next month so we’re ordering gowns and taking pictures for that. Oh, I keep forgetting to call the elementary school about that pre-registration I saw on the sign! Tomorrow’s the last day. Do I need his birth certificate? Social security card? I just ran downstairs to get those before I forget again. Don’t have a shot record. Ugh.
Matt insisted we have a garage sale, even though I wanted to cop out & just donate to Goodwill. I figured it’d be roughly the same tax-wise, but I’ve never been good with figures. Anybody have any answers on that one? I just think that if we make $300, that’s all well and good. I could use it. But how much was that actually…you know per hour of my life that I will never get back? So…that might be happening on Good Friday. That’s when Grandma’s birthday falls this year, by the way. And she gets to spend it absolutely miserable.
Did I mention that Matt also decided he’d like to paint the playroom? I bought the paint and supplies per his request. Guess who has taped the room. Go on, guess. I love that man, I do. But if he gives me another job I’m going off the deep end. Did he tell me to tape the room? Did he ask me to? No. That is just my personality. I am a GO-GETTER. I make lists. Actually, I’ve started to grow out of lists to some degree. If I can take care of it immediately, I do. Saves me the time of putting it on a list, moving it to another list and eventually crossing it off. Even though the crossing off feels so very rewarding, I’m learning to just love the actual accomplishment. Plus, paint settles after a while. It’s really best to use it when it’s been freshly mixed at the store.
Evan turns three very soon and we’re gonna throw him a party. He didn’t have one at two (Lucas did, for the record), so this is quite exciting. I’ve been shopping for all things Thomas the Tank Engine and filling out invitations begging people to RSVP. That’s next weekend, by the way.
I am taking the time, in the midst of all of this, to connect with long lost friends though social networking sites (as well as keep up with current ones). It’s so cool. Amazing how the passage of time just disintigrates under the bridge. I am truly blessed to have such good people in my life. We strive to build eachother up and help one another along this journey. I wish I knew sooner how important all this really was in the grand scheme of things. Maybe I could have changed some things, I dunno. I still maintain that everything happens for a reason and I guess my spiritual journey is right on course.
Life IS so very good, and my goal is to figure out how to enjoy just a wee bit more of it! Matt and I are going on a date night Saturday (this happens twice a year!) and I bought us tickets to Wicked today for late June. It was a splurge, but we deserve it.
Over and out. I’ll see ya when I see ya. For real. It’s day by day this time of year.
So, when the leather sectional we purchased in August got a rip in the seam, we had a feeling we were in for a wild ride. A repairman came out to try and fix it on site, but said he’d have to try and take it apart from the inside. In no uncertain terms, we said, we will not keep it if it doesn’t come back looking brand new. Well, this is what it looked like when it first ripped and this is what they brought back to us after trying to repair it:
No can do. And so, we were stuck trying to spend a lot of money on a replacement couch. We’re particular in our tastes and we usually agree with one another, but it takes a considerable amount of time for us to get to that point. We finally found our couch after lots of looking and then we were dealing with a STORE CREDIT. Yuck.
We made the best of it. After going in to the store the day after I returned from Orlando and picking out a couch and a loft bed set for the boys that would not be used by them for at least a year (Evan…accident prone, much?!), I had an epiphany. The lady that I get all of Lucas and Evan’s Gap and Polo clothes from mentioned getting rid of her son’s bunk beds. Turns out, her neighbor is too. Realizing that used bunk beds are in high supply, we called the store to rethink our purchase.
This time we had Shelby come and hang with the boys so we could concentrate on furniture and not on preventing broken displays. After our first pass through the store we had a couch and love seat combo that didn’t quite leave either of us jumping for joy (we knew this would happen going into the situation), so we made a second pass. We were ready to settle. Then I casually mentioned that we could move part of the set we bought in 2003 for the living room into the hearth room and then we had it.
We ended up with a whole lot more than a couch. The kitchen table and 6 chairs are on backorder until the end of May, but I can show you the rest which was delivered today. Mind you, we do not really have a decorator genes in our bodies…Mom?!
Our entry table:
The “old” couch, just re-purposed with new pillows to tie it in with the new coffee table:
The new couch with the “old” accent chair that came with the above set:
Necessities for lounging:
And finally, the sofa sleeper to replace my futon from 1994 (Matt hears the Hallelujah chorus about now!)
(the replacement mattress my parent’s bought us in 1998 is heavy duty and won’t stay folded on the frame for nothing!)
Oh, and I couldn’t resist adding this photo I snapped with my iPhone of the delivery truck.
Hahahaha! For real. It so doesn’t matter. None of this will last through the youths of our boys anyway, so it’s just as well that dumb couch didn’t make it four months as it certainly wouldn’t have lasted four years! It’s all good. Now, we just need Mr. Grabby hands to chill out so we can add all of our knick knacks (or tschotskes as Matt calls them) back!
I took pictures of a few of my favorite things around the house. The things I always want to remember. I love my life.
I wish I could have caught the size of these snowflakes with my camera (in time, perhaps), but suffice it to say that we got a lot of snow in a short amount of time. The following shots were taken in 15 minute intervals. We weren’t in any hurry to get outside because it had rained prior to the snowfall. We had to make sure there’d be plenty of powder. And there was.
Finally, we made it outside for a bit! It’s nice when it snows on a weekend and Matt can enjoy it with the kids too. Plus I stay a little drier!
Polar plunge anyone? Maybe later, you say?
Lucas and I went out again after Matt went to the Addy’s and Evan went to sleep. It seemed like it would never stop snowing!
How about now? Anybody wanna go for a dip?
In the morning we were greeted with even more snow, which Lucas noted because our tracks were no longer there from our nighttime walk.
We bundled up and headed out to the park for some “sledding fun.” I left the camera in lieu of having a good time, but I did use the Flip, so there might be video soon. Once we got home, Matt and Lucas built a snow giant and I made soup and grilled cheese to warm us all up. What a rare treat for us here in the Mid-South!
Lucas and I did this in between Evan’s playing in his poopy diaper and trashing his room. 
I was so proud that Lucas had the patience this year to stockpile the snowballs. We must’ve built them for an hour total! How cool our family snowball fights will become as both boys get older! This is the sight I saw the second nap interruption I got from Evan…It was pretty much spotless when I put him to bed at nap time. 
And, in the video box on the right you can watch his clean up efforts. He made pretty good time. I think it only took him about ten minutes to clean it up (with very specific step-by-step directions from Mommy) and he only resisted a little at first. He’ll work his way out of this phase and we’ll be all, “Remember when…?”
I think I say this every year, but I really need to buy the movie with the same title as this post. It’s hilarious! Most likely, it would leave me longing for actual piles of snow instead of the light dusting we actually get here in these parts. I was skidding in the driveway when I left at 5:45 this morning and had some trouble stopping at a couple of the neighborhood stop signs. I have never claimed to know how to drive in icy or snowy conditions. The closest I can say I’ve come to ever doing it would be on the just wet streets made with seashells while growing up in Florida (or that one road trip when there was a blizzard in Alabama). I tried to call in for a sub because I was scared to be driving. The line was busy both times I tried. I refreshed the school districts website for the third time. Still open. Finally after another botched stopping attempt I pulled over and turned around. I sat idling in a neighborhood while trying to decide between my safety and my job. “Do I just get a reprimand for not showing up?” I can’t call anyone. I’m one of the first people on campus. Finally at 6:15 they reversed their decision to open the schools. I crept back home behind a fishtailing pickup and after I recovered, I made they boys a hearty breakfast, bundled them up and took them outside to play in it.
It wasn’t long before we were all cold and they were grumpy. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted!
